Faith and Hope Parts Three, Four, and Five
by gato
Summary: Declan and Peggy and Miranda discover more about trust and faith. I'm not good at summaries! Enjoy. PleaseRR.
1. Faith and Hope Part 3

Faith and Hope Part 3  
  
"Do you think Mole is eating your furniture right about now?" Declan unlocked the old door to his lakeside bungalow and let Peggy inside. She sidestepped his huge backpack and several other duffel bags on the floor.  
  
"No. I left him plenty of food and water. I left the TV on too. He thinks it's company."  
  
Declan looked at her in amazement. "Are you drugging my dog, Doctor Fowler?"  
  
"It doesn't take drugs to respond to an animal's preferences. Mole is a smart dog. Just pay attention to his needs."  
  
"Yeah, right. He doesn't need any more attention. Sounds like he got plenty of that while I was gone." Declan plugged in his coffee pot and rifled through kitchen cabinets to find cups. Peggy sat on the sofa within earshot of the little kitchen area. Looking around Declan's home was like visiting a tiny museum. He had accumulated many pieces of ancient history and anthropology over his academic years. Every time she visited there was something new that caught her eye.  
  
Declan joined her on the sofa. "Coffee's brewing. Smell that aroma?"  
  
"Mmmnn. I love it." Peggy sat back and closed her eyes. A lazy smile appeared. "I really am tired, you know. I should be home sleeping or getting ready for tomorrow."  
  
"I wanted to be alone with you." His voice was low and coarse. "I missed you, Peg" He watched her sigh with eyes half closed.  
  
"Declan, where are your glasses? I just noticed you haven't had them on all night?"  
  
"Lost them somewhere in a cave. I'm picking up new ones tomorrow afternoon. I have my old contacts in now." Declan moved closer and let his arm rest behind her neck. "What's wrong, Peggy?"  
  
Her eyes traveled to his and she felt warm. His eyes watched her lips as she spoke. "Nothing's wrong. I missed you too. I feel like I have to get used to being with you like this all over again. Isn't that funny?"  
  
Declan pulled her to him. She thought he was going to hug but instead his lips sought hers and they were kissing. Peggy wrapped her arms possessively around his neck and surrendered to his probing mouth. This kiss was not tender like before. They were on new ground. Declan chastised himself for letting his control slip this far but Peggy was not pushing away. His hands caressed her back while his lips became more demanding. Peggy responded with a soft moan. Her hands moved restlessly through his hair. She heard his breath catch and felt a hand stroking her face. Declan was pulling slowly away from her. His arms relaxed and he hesitantly relinquished her mouth. Their heads remained together while they struggled to regain control.  
  
"Whoa." Declan breathed. "This feels great."  
  
"It does, Declan, but . I'm not sure-"  
  
"It's okay Peggy. I don't want to do anything you don't want to." He stroked her hair.  
  
"I want .. when the time is right .. I just want you to know that I am physically attracted to you. I guess I need more time."  
  
"I'm glad," Declan smiled broadly, "that you're attracted to me." The smile faded. "Forgive me. I'm usually good at holding myself together. It's easy actually because women are not falling down in front of me, you know." He laughed a little before continuing. "You, like, do this thing to me. I can't describe it."  
  
Peggy ran a finger over his lips. "You don't have to explain anything to me. We're good, Declan. Really good."  
  
Declan let his lips touch hers in a soft and lingering kiss. He pulled his head back just enough to whisper, "I hope so. Cause I'm pretty sure that thing I can't describe is related to me being in love with you."  
  
Peggy swallowed hard and felt a lump growing in her throat. Declan's eyes were closed and his head was down. She imagined him waiting for an axe to fall. Love? Her heart was soaring and she couldn't believe how much she felt for this man.  
  
"Peg? Are you crying? Damn, I'm sorry." He lifted his head and watched the wordless emotions cross her face.  
  
"No, I'm okay." She wiped away the unexpected tears.  
  
Declan continued to hold her. "I wasn't suppose to say that. Every thing just comes to the surface when I'm around you. The whole time in Africa, I thought about you. I was scared at first because I was having trouble sleeping at night. I was afraid you were back here changing your mind about us. I tried to convince myself that I'd accept whatever happened. Que sera, sera, right?" He shook his head. "No way. Couldn't turn back. On the plane coming home I decided to let you know how important you are to me. I just didn't plan on blurting it out like that."  
  
He let his arms fall from her shoulders. "Now you know, Peg. All I can ask is that you don't think I'm pushing or anything. I'm okay with things as they are."  
  
Peggy was trying to stay composed while he talked but his words spoke to her own heart. Weeks of denial came to a crashing end. She weighed her feelings. "I appreciate you being honest . I know it wasn't easy-"  
  
"It was too easy, Peg. This isn't a giant leap for me like it is for you." He abruptly stood up from the sofa and went into the kitchen. Peggy sat staring out of the large picture window beside the front door. Declan returned with steaming coffee mugs. He sat beside her again silently sipping the brew.  
  
"Look Declan, I was hoping that it wouldn't be this hard to move slowly." She put the mug on the end table next to the sofa. "I can't change my past. I can't change what happened to my husband or how it changed my life. I'm not sure how I've gotten this far since his death. But here I am, with you." Peggy placed a hand on his knee and he turned to her. "And I want to be here, Declan."  
  
He squeezed her hand and sat back on the sofa. "Do you still feel married, Peg? I mean, is it hard to imagine being with someone else."  
  
"Sometimes." She whispered. "But when I'm with you I don't feel that way. I think I feel guilty because I don't feel like I'm betraying my late husband."  
  
Declan let out a long breath tinged with frustration. " So you're mad at yourself for opening the door to another relationship?" He was shaking his head now. "Peggy, you're a head doctor. Think about what you're doing to yourself."  
  
"I know it's unfair that's why -"  
  
"It's very unfair." Declan interrupted. "You deserve to be loved. You're young, beautiful, smart." He looked down at her hand in his. "It doesn't have to be me, you know. I promised not to push you into something you don't want. All I ask is that you let someone in, one day."  
  
Peggy watched him get up from the sofa and stand at the picture window. She followed him restlessly anxious to make him listen. He slipped an arm around her waist and continued to stare out into the night.  
  
"Declan, are you trying to tell me that you're tired of things as they are," she asked softly as she laid a hand along the side of his face. " Cause I'm tired too." He turned his head to stare at her with sad, questioning eyes. " Yes, Declan I have doubts. I'm a jumble of emotions every minute I'm with you. Even worse when I'm not. I haven't trusted another man like this since my husband and it feels strange. And then, you tell me you're in love with me."  
  
"It feels right." His eyes bore into hers. "But I won't stop you -" "Hey, I'm the psychiatrist here. Let me do the analysis." She smiled and stepped in front of him and suddenly she was in his arms. He gathered her hair in one hand and kissed her with everything he felt and held back for months. Peggy pressed against him, wanting to never break the connection. She felt giddy and warm. Her lips retreated from his after several heated seconds, just far enough to whisper. "I love you, Declan."  
  
He let his head fall to her neck and he sighed raggedly trying to control the tears that threatened to expose his joy. Peggy kissed his ear and neck enjoying the feel of him and his possessive embrace.  
  
" I think I knew that." He managed to murmur. "I couldn't imagine you not feeling what I feel. I was hoping you trusted me enough to stay."  
  
"My legs wouldn't carry me away." She was giggling. Declan smiled in amusement at the woman who rarely laughed out loud. "When I saw you get out of your truck this evening it hit me so hard. I knew I missed you but I didn't know how much until that moment. And yes, I was trying to avoid it." Peggy lowered her eyes to his chest. "You always make me go places I'm afraid to go."  
  
Declan traced a finger along her cheek. "That's what love is, Peg. I trust you to make me go places I'm afraid to go too." He pecked her lips lightly. "I wonder if I could ever love you more than I do right now." He let his lips connect with Peggy's. Declan shook with desire. He willed his hands to behave as he caressed her back and felt eager hands clenching against his shoulders. "Peg, we better stop cause I'm -"  
  
The hoarseness of Declan's voice made the flames dance higher. Peggy clutched him tighter in response. "I can't figure out how ."  
  
They allowed the fire to burn. Declan lifted her feet several inches from the floor, lips still locked, prepared to carry her to his bedroom. Suddenly, they heard an approaching vehicle. The picture window was immediately bathed in bright light blinding the frozen couple. A motorcycle coasted to a stop in the short driveway with the one-eyed headlight aimed at Declan and Peggy. They remained entangled in their lovers embrace.  
  
"Oh God. It's Miranda." Peggy gasped.  
  
"We're dead. And I bet Drew Flanagan is too."  
  
They watched her approach the glass, a grim smile on her solemn face. "Hey guys." She yelled, "Got a minute?"  
  
End of Part 3 


	2. Faith and Hope Part 4

Faith and Hope Part 4  
  
"You're obviously not handling this well." Peggy shook her head at the prone figure stretched across the sofa in her office. " Why don't you try being more clear about why you feel so negatively -"  
  
"How much can you clarify, 'I don't like him.' What's there to explain?" Miranda stated with exasperation. She fluffed a pillow behind her head and crossed her legs at the ankles. "I was hoping you would listen to me, Peggy. Declan says I'm afraid of Drew because he's a potential serious relationship and I'm so insecure about myself that it frightens me. Isn't that the worst hack psychology you've ever heard?"  
  
"What do you think?"  
  
Miranda sighed and continued her perusal of the ceiling tiles. "I think you guys are on a commitment induced high right now and you want to see everybody around you in a relationship."  
  
Peggy laughed. " Maybe. But remember that Declan has discouraged some of your past 'acquaintances' and he was not wrong to do so I might add. Think about it. Wasn't he right about the fireman?"  
  
"Okay, sure, but I was only interested in one thing from him anyway."  
  
"I had no problem with that." They glanced at each other at the same time and both women smiled in acknowledgement of the fireman's attributes. Peggy got up from behind her desk and moved to sit on the edge of it. "What I'm really trying to say Miranda is that I think you like Drew a lot. You always blush if he directs a question or comment your way and you let him over explain every piece of research. I've never seen you allow anyone to do that, not even Declan."  
  
Miranda remained silent as if she did not hear Peggy's last comments. She knew she had been acting like a star struck teenager around Drew. Because he made her act that way, Miranda tried to avoid him. But he kept engaging her in conversation, in the projects, and now he found his way into her social life. She sighed loudly again and swung her legs to the carpet. With her hands covering her face, Miranda finally spoke.  
  
"Two nights ago I ditched him at Del's, remember? He's probably thanking his lucky stars that he didn't hook up with me then. So you and Declan can find some other way to spread the love."  
  
"Didn't you tell me that Drew called your apartment all night until you got home? And didn't he apologize for upsetting you and offered to try again over coffee? Miranda, he told you he likes you and you left him sitting at a restaurant table. Why?"  
  
From behind her hands Miranda murmured, "Because he ordered me decaf."  
  
Peggy abruptly stood up with hands on her hips. "Miranda! Be serious. You know why."  
  
"Okay!" she flopped backward on the sofa. And looked at Peggy. Her eyes were large and sad. "I like him! Okay? But he's not for me. Girls like me don't get guys like that."  
  
"Miranda," Peggy said to the forlorn girl before her, " Drew sees a beautiful and intelligent woman. You're his intellectual equal and we can see that he finds that fascinating about you. There are not too many people like you and Drew in this world. Declan and I have to work hard to keep up with you."  
  
"He probably thinks I'm crazy now. What's the point?"  
  
"The point is that you should accept his invitation to have coffee after work this evening." Peggy put up a hand to stop Miranda's forthcoming protest. "I know you came in today to ask me how to get out of it, but I'm sorry, I can see that you really want to go. Now call him and say yes."  
  
Miranda looked at her friend. Peggy was being a big sister again and secretly, Miranda cherished this part of their friendship. "Are you going to have your cell phone on after work?"  
  
"Yes, but Declan and I are going to that lecture at the Ethics Coalition. He has to make an appearance for the department. So only call if it's an absolute emergency."  
  
"I shouldn't bother you at all." She gave Peggy a little shy smile. "I still feel bad about the other night. Barging in like that at Declan's house. You guys looked like the last thing you wanted was company."  
  
Peggy turned away from her and went to sit behind her desk again. " You've already apologized and it was alright. We ah .. you know, just really missed each other and we decided to be honest about our feelings." She was blushing now and awkwardly moving things around her desk. A smile creased her face. "I never did thank you for setting us up."  
  
"No need." Miranda sighed wistfully as she rose to leave the office. "I couldn't watch you two circle each other like that anymore."  
  
"Well, thanks anyway. We are very okay with how things are now. And you, young lady, go and let us return the favor. Call Drew now. Trust me."  
  
Miranda nodded. "Just this once maybe."  
  
Several hours later, Declan was exiting his office with briefcase in hand. Mole followed him as he closed and locked the door. He mentally ticked off the names of the people he was suppose to remember to talk to tonight. He was momentarily startled by someone appearing directly behind him.  
  
"Hey Declan." Miranda greeted him quietly.  
  
Declan stopped walking. He then took a few steps backward away from his friend. "Are we okay now? You're not going to hook me up to anything electrical, are you?" He asked her.  
  
Miranda smiled maliciously. "Not today. Your partner in crime has convinced me to have coffee with the hot shot research assistant."  
  
Now Declan smiled. "Cool. Really cool. Don't worry, Miranda he has good intentions. I made sure of that."  
  
"Are you gonna stay out of my dating life after this?"  
  
"I'll try. Gotta run. Peg is waiting for me." He backed away from her with Mole at his heels.  
  
Later  
  
Peggy carefully opened the bag of microwave popcorn and poured the steamy contents into a large bowl. She joined Declan sitting on the floor in front of her large wing chair. The television was on without sound. Declan threw pieces of popcorn in the air and caught them in his mouth.  
  
"Did you see Dr.Menzini's face when his wife staggered into the pastry table?" Peggy tried to catch popcorn with her mouth and failed.  
  
"That poor woman. I saw her doing shots of bourbon at the bar. Thank God someone caught her before she landed in the lemon tarts."  
  
"I noticed a lot of questionable behavior among the members of the so- called Ethics Coalition."  
  
Declan laughed with a snort. "They really know how to party." He moved the bowl from between them and pulled Peggy closer to him. "Maybe if we stay low, Miranda will think we're not here when she shows up later gunning for blood."  
  
Peggy let her head fall to his shoulder. "I think tonight will be different. She's feeling a little more confident. Look it's almost 9:30 and she hasn't called me. Everything is fine."  
  
"I hope you're right." He stroked a hand through her hair while he looked down at her upturned face. Once again he let his eyes feast on her smooth brown skin and full lips. After being interrupted two nights ago by Miranda, Declan spent the last 48 hours daydreaming about Peggy's mouth and the feel of her arms holding him with unrestrained desire.  
  
"What are you thinking about?"  
  
He smiled and her eyes lit up with understanding. "Peg, I'm a very bad man."  
  
"Why?" She decided to play along.  
  
"I have been having carnal thoughts about you, on and off, for the past year. But now, I think about you all day and all night. I feel like a teen- ager. I shouldn't think that one night of heavy petting automatically leads to hopping into bed on the very next date. Silly, isn't it?"  
  
Peggy was having trouble controlling her amusement. "Yes, it is Declan Dunn. What kind of woman do you think I am? Heavy petting? Wow, how old are you really? I haven't heard that term in a long time." She was sitting up now flashing large innocent eyes at him. " Why do I feel so .. naked right now?"  
  
"Is that a bad thing?" He asked pulling her head to his. Neither expected the instant hunger that erupted as their lips connected. Peggy inhaled sharply and let her hands roam down the front of his white shirt. Declan moved them to a kneeling position, his desire rising dangerously every second. One of his hands traveled to the small of her back and instinctively, he pressed her closer. It was difficult to tell who moaned and who gasped at the contact. Declan moved his lips to her neck and whispered his way to her ear.  
  
"Are you okay with this?" He groaned trying to enunciate each word clearly. Peggy was unbuttoning his shirt. She finished her task and then reached up to remove his new glasses.  
  
"Yes." Peggy was certain that they would not make it to her bedroom as Declan suddenly let his hands touch every part of her. "I'm in love with you, Declan." She murmured. He looked at her fiercely for a second, his eyes half closed. Right before he captured her lips again, Declan sighed, "I love you. God help me, Peg, I want you so much"  
  
End of Part 4 


	3. Faith and Hope Part 5

Faith and Hope Part 5  
  
Drew handed Miranda a wrapped sandwich and soda from the bag on his lap. They were sitting side by side in the cab of Drew's large, new black pick- up truck. A sophisticated, telescopic camera, on a tripod, stood on the ground in front of them. The camera was aimed at the shower of stars above them.  
  
Drew stole a side-glance at the woman beside him. He had always enjoyed watching her but tonight, he had the privilege of observing her away from the university. She was a little more relaxed but still skittish around him. He was shocked when she accepted his invitation to watch him take pictures of several supernova stars. Her appearance at the coffee shop this evening was encouraging and Drew was pleased that her curiosity outweighed her anxiety.  
  
"So, where did you get that camera from?" Miranda turned around to face him and caught him staring. "That's expensive."  
  
Drew smiled at her. "I have a friend in the astronomy department. I helped him out with a few projects."  
  
"You do get around."  
  
"I try. The great part about majoring in physics is that it applies to so many other physical sciences. I've learned a lot just assisting professors in other departments."  
  
"I know what you mean." Miranda responded with enthusiasm. "I spend hours calculating why certain phenomena occur when Declan and I are investigating something. I really like using what I know about physical properties."  
  
They both took bites from their sandwiches. Miranda had to admit to herself that she was having a good time. She glanced his way for a few seconds. Drew continued to keep his long curls combed away from his face. She liked that his hair was so black, her favorite color. Miranda stopped herself from mooning like a teen-ager. She sipped her soda.  
  
"Are you ready for the next set of photos?" Miranda asked forcing her voice to sound casual.  
  
Drew looked at his watch. "11:00pm. Good timing." He put his food down and stretched his legs down to stand on the grass. Before Miranda could hop off the truck cab, Drew offered his hand to help. Their eyes met briefly and then darted away. Miranda gave him her hand and gracefully ended up beside him at the tripod.  
  
Drew didn't let go of the hand. Miranda looked up at him and found amused gray eyes. "You see, we can get along for five minutes without arguing." He tried to subdue the smile that took over his face.  
  
Miranda frowned. " As long as you don't bring up early Bantu hunting, I'll call this a truce."  
  
"Deal. But if I'm right about the writings on the cave walls in -"  
  
"Flanagan!"  
  
He laughed nervously. "Truce."  
  
Declan gratefully accepted the glass of wine from Peggy. He scooted over to make more room for her to slide under the heavy quilt. She hugged her silk robe close as she snuggled next to him. With their backs against the sofa, they faced the small fireplace.  
  
"To us." Declan tapped her wine glass with his. Peggy took a small sip and leaned over to seal the toast with a kiss.  
  
Declan turned his eyes to her. Peggy's hair was now tied back and her skin was free of make-up. She looked thoughtful and content, yet, he was afraid she was having regrets. He tried to imagine what was on her mind as she watched the fire.  
  
Peggy felt his questioning glances. She met his gaze with a smile and another kiss.  
  
"You're going to spill the wine." Declan softly warned. He took the glass from her and put it next to his on the coffee table. They embraced and stayed nestled together, heads touching and hands clasped.  
  
"Declan?"  
  
"Hmnn?"  
  
"I'm still okay."  
  
"You sure?"  
  
"Positive." She lifted her head a fraction so he could see her face. "I understand why you think I'm not settled about us yet." Peggy slowly shook her head. "I didn't want to let myself give in to the way I feel about you. It just started happening and there was nothing I could do." She absently caressed the fine layer of black hair on his bare chest. "I know that I couldn't hold it back forever." Declan grabbed her wandering hand and gently kissed the palm. "I knew it would be like this, Peg. That's why I decided; it's now or never. We're connected. I told you that before. Remember Dr. Hess' class? When I realized who you were, I was stunned. Here was the girl I'd day dreamed about in class. Amazing." He angled his head to kiss her. "We were bound to happen one day."  
  
"I think you're right." Peggy pulled her hand away and continued her imaginary circles on his chest. Declan closed his eyes and laid his head back against the sofa seat.  
  
"You know what's even more amazing to me?"  
  
"What's that?" Her muffled voice inquired. She was placing small kisses across his shoulder and neck.  
  
"That a conservative, disciplined, psychiatrist like yourself could be so. .wild in bed."  
  
Peggy lightly tickled his midsection. "You don't inspire restraint. In case you've forgotten, you were asking so much of me, or was that begging I heard, anyway you were quite clear about how much you were enjoying yourself."  
  
Declan slipped a hand under her robe and smiled mischievously. "That wasn't begging, Peg, that was encouragement so that you knew I supported everything you were doing." His hand roamed across her hips. "You already know I can't control myself around you anymore." Declan pulled her over him until she was sitting on his lap. "I know it's late and we both have to work tomorrow, but your appalling behavior tonight has really got me curious. How far will you go, lady?"  
  
She was laughing and lightly stroking his chest with both hands. "It's going to take a lot of encouragement to find out."  
  
Declan yanked the quilt from them and moved forward until Peggy was under him lying on the quilt. "I think you know by now, Peg, that I can be very supportive."  
  
Miranda's eyes opened slowly as she realized that her body was stiff and the truck had stopped moving. Quickly, she turned toward the driver's seat and felt a stab of embarrassment. Drew was smiling at her. He had one long arm across the back of her seat.  
  
"Sorry to keep you out so late."  
  
"Ah . it's okay." She checked her watch and was shocked that it was already 2:00 AM. They were sitting in front of her apartment building. "Thanks for showing me the supernovas. Sorry I fell asleep. I had an early class and -"  
  
"Hey, don't apologize. I get carried away when science is involved. Especially when I'm sharing it with someone who likes it too." He looked away shyly and then looked at her again this time taking in her hair and letting his eyes move across her face. "And especially with someone as beautiful as a supernova star."  
  
Miranda was looking down at her hands gripping the backpack on her lap. She wanted to run from the truck. She cleared her throat. "You mean I look like a big bright white mass floating in the dark?" She tried for humor to make him less serious.  
  
"Yeah. Can you imagine anything more beautiful and intriguing?" Drew still continued to stare at her with gentle, admiring eyes. "Miranda, I really enjoyed your company tonight. Thanks again for coming with me. I know I'm not the easiest person to get along with but I'm learning to spend more time away from the lab and more time with people. I like spending time with you."  
  
"It was nice. You were okay."  
  
"Good. I would like very much to take you on a real date." His gray eyes flashed with pleasure. " How about a nice quiet dinner at Del's on Friday? No research or project talk. Just get-to-know-you conversation."  
  
She was so captured by his eyes, that his invitation almost escaped her. Blinking and sitting up straight in the seat, Miranda automatically responded. "I can do that. Friday's good."  
  
"I'll pick you up at 7:00." While he spoke, Miranda was opening the truck door. He hurried out and was just in time to grab her elbow as she jumped to the curb. She gave him a little smile and wave and walked toward the building. Drew watched her open the door. He waved back.  
  
"I'll see you on Friday, Miranda." He said getting in the truck.  
  
"Okay." She hurried in the door and closed it. Miranda fell back against the closed door and exhaled. Then she bent over briefly to restore the oxygen to her brain. When she stood straight again, a huge, unfamiliar smile spread across her face.  
  
End of Part 5 


End file.
